Closing Doors - Welcome Home, Son

"It's not a death. And it's not a tragedy. But it's not nothing, either..."💔
"I wasn't wrong about their leaving. People kept telling me I was. That it wasn't the end of the world.  But it was the end of something.

I was the sun and they were the planets. And there was life on those planets, whirling, non stop plans and parties and friends coming and going, and ideas and dreams and the phone ringing and doors slamming.

And I got to beam down on them. To watch. To glow.

And then they were gone, one after the other.

"They'll be back," people said. And they were right. They came back. But they were wrong, too, because they came back for intervals -- not for always, not planets anymore, making their predictable orbits, but unpredictable, like shooting stars.

"A chapter ends. Another chapter begins."

"One door closes and another door opens."

"The best thing a parent can give his child is wings."

I read all these things when my children left home and thought then what I think now: What do these words mean?

Eighteen years isn't a chapter in anyone's life. It's a whole book, and that book is ending and what comes next is connected to, but different from, everything that has gone before.

Before was an infant, a toddler, a child, a teenager. Before was feeding and changing and teaching and comforting and guiding and disciplining, everything hands-on. Now?

As for a door closing? Would that you could close a door and forget for even a minute your children and your love for them and your fear for them, too. And would that they occupied just a single room in your head. But they're in every room in your head and in your heart.

As for the wings analogy? It's sweet. But children are not birds. Parents don't let them go and build another nest and have all new offspring next year.

Saying goodbye to your children and their childhood is much harder than all the pithy sayings make it seem.

It's not a death. And it's not a tragedy.

But it's not nothing, either.

The drive home without them is the worst. And the first few days. But then it gets better. Life does go on.

I miss them, still, all these years later, the children they were, at the dinner table, beside me on the couch, talking on the phone, sleeping in their rooms, safe, home, mine...."

- Beverly Beckham

Week 108 - Home!

He's H O M E !!!

Elders Erickson, Hadfield, Ryan White, Lucas Pettit, Mitch Dickson

Week 107 - Poznan

Elder Jablonski, Sister Larsen, Elder Larsen, Elder Hadfield

Hello everyone for the last time from Poland!  I want to thank everyone for your support and prayers, this has been the adventure of a lifetime.  I have a lot of thoughts about my mission, but I’m afraid if I started attempting to express them using my own words, they’d come out as cliche phrases, like “it’s been the best two years”, or “I changed more than anyone I ever taught”.  So, I’m going to turn to the scriptures:

Alma 26

[...]My brothers and my brethren, behold I say unto you, how great reason have we to rejoice; for could we have supposed when we started from the land of Zarahemla that God would have granted unto us such great blessings? And now, I ask, what great blessings has he bestowed upon us? Can ye tell?  Behold, I answer for you; for our brethren, the Lamanites, were in darkness [...] but behold, how many of them are brought to behold the marvelous light of God! And this is the blessing which hath been bestowed upon us, that we have been made instruments in the hands of God to bring about this great work. [...] Blessed be the name of our God; let us sing to his praise, yea, let us give thanks to his holy name, for he doth work righteousness forever.  For if we had not come up out of the land of Zarahemla, these our dearly beloved brethren, who have so dearly beloved us, would still [...] have been strangers to God. [...]my joy is full, yea, my heart is brim with joy, and I will rejoice in my God. Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things; yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise his name forever.  Behold, how many [...] of our brethren has he loosed from the pains of hell; and they are brought to sing redeeming love [...] therefore have we not great reason to rejoice? [...]behold, he has brought them into his everlasting light, yea, into everlasting salvation; and they are encircled about with the matchless bounty of his love; yea, and we have been instruments in his hands of doing this great and marvelous work. Therefore, let us glory, yea, we will glory in the Lord; yea, we will rejoice, for our joy is full; yea, we will praise our God forever. Behold, who can glory too much in the Lord? Yea, who can say too much of his great power, and of his mercy, and of his long-suffering towards the children of men? Behold, I say unto you, I cannot say the smallest part which I feel.  Who could have supposed that our God would have been so merciful as to have snatched us from our [...] sinful[...] state? [...]Behold, he [...] in his great mercy hath brought us over that everlasting gulf of death and misery, even to the salvation of our souls. [...]Now do ye remember, my brethren, that we said unto our brethren in the land of Zarahemla, we go up to the land of Nephi, to preach unto our brethren, the Lamanites, and they laughed us to scorn? For they said unto us: Do ye suppose that ye can bring the Lamanites to the knowledge of the truth? Do ye suppose that ye can convince the Lamanites of the incorrectness of the traditions of their fathers[...]? [...]But behold, my beloved brethren, we came [...] with the intent that perhaps we might save some few of their souls.  Now when our hearts were depressed, and we were about to turn back, behold, the Lord comforted us, and said: Go amongst thy brethren, the Lamanites, and bear with patience thine afflictions, and I will give unto you success. And now behold, we have come, and been forth amongst them; and we have been patient in our sufferings, and we have suffered every privation; yea, we have traveled from house to house, relying upon the mercies of the world—not upon the mercies of the world alone but upon the mercies of God. And we have entered into their houses and taught them, and we have taught them in their streets; yea, and we have taught them upon their hills[...] And we have suffered [...] this, that perhaps we might be the

means of saving some soul; and we supposed that our joy would be full if perhaps we could be the means of saving some.  Now behold, we can look forth and see the fruits of our labors; and are they few? I say unto you, Nay, they are many[...] Now have we not reason to rejoice? Yea, I say unto you, there never were men that had so great reason to rejoice as we, since the world began; yea, and my joy is carried away, even unto boasting in my God; for he has all power, all wisdom, and all understanding; he comprehendeth all things, and he is a merciful Being, even unto salvation, to those who will repent and believe on his name. Now if this is boasting, even so will I boast; for this is my life and my light, my joy and my salvation, and my redemption from everlasting wo. Yea, blessed is the name of my God, who has been mindful of this people, [...] I say, blessed be the name of my God, who has been mindful of us, wanderers in a strange land. Now my brethren, we see that God is mindful of every people, whatsoever land they may be in; yea, he numbereth his people, and his bowels of mercy are over all the earth. Now this is my joy, and my great thanksgiving; yea, and I will give thanks unto my God forever. Amen.

Mosiah 18:30

And now it came to pass that all this was done in [Poland], yea, by the waters of [Poland], in the forest that was near the waters of [Poland]; yea, the place of [Poland], the waters of [Poland], the forest of [Poland], how beautiful are they to the eyes of them who there came to the knowledge of their Redeemer; yea, and how blessed are they, for they shall sing to his praise forever.

Elder Jacob Hadfield

Poland Warsaw Mission

October 26, 2016 - November 20, 2018

Week 106 - Poznan

Hey there,
It feels like things have been going slow lately. We've been working pretty hard, but people don't answer their phone or text back, it's just been difficult to set up meetings.  We did meet a new guy named A, from Turkey, and we had our first meeting with him, and it went really well.  We taught him the Restoration, and it went super well. I really enjoyed that lesson. The Spirit was strong and he expressed desires to really find out if this is true.  That was my favorite part of the week. It reminded me of my time in Warsaw when it felt like we just had meetings all the time.  He said he would come to church on Sunday, but he wasn't able to make it.  We've tried to get in contact with him, but nothing yet, hoping we can get a hold of him this week, he seemed so promising.  
That was our only meeting this week, so other than that, we did a lot of finding, which has also been going a little slower than usual, but we keep grinding, hope something good comes up this week.  No new news about who will be the next branch president, President Turek should be in church this upcoming Sunday, so we'll find out then.  The Larson's leave next Monday, so we'll find out soon.
We've been able to do some work with less-actives, just trying to contact them and actualize the branch list, a request from President Larson before he leaves.  We've been able to get some good things going with that and actualize the branch list a little bit.  (As an example, we visited a less-active member and found out he passed away 6 years ago.  Kinda weird, but for the Church in Poland it's normal for the branch lists to be way out of date.) 
A couple days ago, I also started compiling a list of the effects of Abinadi's ministry, and it's been an enlightening exercise.  The most fun part of the week was on Friday, we went with the Larson's out to a city called Wronki not far from Poznań.  That's the city where Elder Jabłoński's great-great grandfather is from, and so he wanted to get some info for genealogical, work.  We were at a cemetery searching for graves with a couple names, and he met a young couple who's last names are Jabłoński.  So he's in contact with them, and that was a cool experience, and it was also fun to spend time with the Larson's.  I've really lucked out with senior couples on my mission.
Have a great week!
-Elder Hadfield